Round III: lightening bolts and spiritual interventions

It's been close to a week since my last entry. I write this as I'm on a plane to Dallas where I'm joining my partner Ali on our Kailash Kher & Kailasa tour. Kailash is expected to perform tomorrow at the new Dallas Cowboy Stadium to an audience of over 40,000 people as the headliner of a Diwali Festival. I know it will be worth the effort as this past week of chemo is still lingering and I need to return to this part of my life. This past week found me in bed coping with round III of chemo. Chemo brain was present, sheer exhaustion and fatigue were in full effect, nasty medicated chemo mouth is still wrapped around my tongue (it's really yucky), and of course the stabbing sensation in my jaw while eating has been a regular companion. The specific area of detonation ignited by grape or bread, pasta or green juice is called 'the condyle of the mandible', or 'the head of the jaw bone', or simply 'the temporomandibular joint'…. speaking of which, I need a joint…. Last I wrote I had resurrected my recording studio, created a dust storm and took in a little cold. The eye of the chemo tornado pulled it all together resulting in the alchemical side effect of what I will call 'exploding throat'; be it cough or sneeze, with any heavy exertion of air through my Adams Apple, the force would result in 'exploding throat', sending a message to my cerebral cortex that my voice box has shattered into a thousand piece and causing difficulty of breath. Fortunately I'm not one to panic and I'm generally very good with my breath, but the process of re-composition would generally take an average of 90-seconds. FUN!

Another chemo character to share more shades of its personality was neuropathy. If it were a cartoon character it would be personified by a friendly lightening bolt that when aggravated quickly transforms into a jagged razor sharp evil web of electricity. A week earlier our little friend was introduced to the story by my holding a cold pint of sambazon acai, it was here that it took my hand for an introductory handshake. This week I became well acquainted with my new friend in holding more lightening in my hands, pounding electricity on the piano keys, electrical jolts running through my feet, and feeling a cool breeze kiss my lips sending shocks through my mouth and up towards my nose (mother natures new way of saying 'i love you'). All that said as I type this with every keystroke a little lightening jolt nibbles on my fingertips. Sexy stuff!

I mainly spent this past week in bed coping. Monday at the hospital getting hooked to the juice, then stuck in bed in my headphones until Wednesday morning when I for the first time disconnected myself from the chemo pack, (I'll take a picture of the long needle that we unclamp from the port in my chest). My acupuncturist came over and tuned me up (forgot to mention the lower left area of my back has been enduring nasty muscle spasms all week), and then my friend Vanessa drove me to the Omega Institute where I linked with my wife on our 2-year wedding anniversary to spend time in the current of Brazilian healer 'John of God' (over a thousand people a day came to Omega for this happening). Wed - Friday were spent at Omega. I had a spiritual intervention, spent more time in bed in my headphones, collapsed in front of my friends Brett & Helema as a muscle spasm overtook me, ate like a bird, and returned home by bus on Friday to spend a little time with my father for his birthday. Now I'm on a plane… Something tells me I'm pushing myself a little too much, what do you think? I know I can handle it, I'm as strong as a lion!

To my friends that have been calling, texting, emailing and have received only silence, please excuse the reality that I had to drop out this past week, and I will be forced to drop out every other week. Between chemo, family affairs, and taking in the electrical current of John of God, this week has been all about healing… everything right now is about healing. All social and business activities are on hold. I've been so busy being sick and tired I didn't even get to enjoy the all organic au-natural herbal remedies my friends have been gifting me with. To be perfectly honest, it's a little challenging to smoke a spliff when your mom is taking care of you, your father is always around, and your wife is a hardcore raw-live-vegan-shamanic-healer. Still, as Round IV approaches I'm going to have to schedule it in like I schedule acupuncture and massage, I can explain to my family that next to the supplements of vitamin B, and C and magnesium and gold and iron that Vitamin M is also an integral part of the healing process.

healing power of nature

There's a lot to be said about the healing power of nature. Today marks 8-days since the first round of chemo. The first four days of the experience basically translated into four days of death, extreme fatigue, poisonous toxicity, nausea, dizziness, chemicals flowing through my body, nasty medicated taste in my mouth, loss of appetite, and of course my favorite - the electrical jolt to the jaw every time I put food or liquid of any temperature into my mouth. That was last weeks Monday through Thursday, the first four days of riding the chemo tidal wave. Day five, Friday was the resurrection, the day I finally had the strength to get out of bed and started to feel normal, it was the first day I was no longer bedridden, and had the strength to re-engage with my life (with some lingering side-effects). Parashakti and I went to the Omega Institute for their Ecstatic Chant weekend where we brought our good friend Vishal Vaid to perform. We spent three healing nights upstate on the Omega campus.

As I said, there is something to be said about the healing power of nature, we all know it; the fresh air, the greenery, being outdoors, sleeping in a cabin in the woods far from NYC car alarms and traffic jams, far from the wonderful air next to our L.I.E. apartment, far from the chaotic frequency of the city. Without question, being at Omega helped me shake off the chemo funk. Today, I feel like I did not have any chemo, I'm really only reminded of it because of the port in my chest (the pain has relatively dissolved), and that Round Two is approaching in less than a week (9/14). This week is all about preparing my body for the next round - fueling my body with healthy greens, regular exercise and prayer, and catching up on some neglected work! I want to say thank you to the Stephan, Ana, Brett & Helema, the Omega family, the Omega piano, the Kirtan crew, the Vaid family and of course my wife for the best few days I have had since the surgery in July. I'm back!

lots of sleep

Since being disconnected from the chemo-pack I've been sleeping, and sleeping, and sleeping. Disconnection did not slow down the side-effects. I've had acupuncture and a great massage since returning from the hospital. Both felt great and pushed my body deeper into sleep. I have not been taking phone calls or replying to e-mails, it takes too much energy. I yawn a lot. My appetite is slowly coming back, I was able to eat a small meal for the first time yesterday, but nothing compared to what I'm used to. I've also learned how to eat as with every first bite of a food, be it fruit or juice or Rahela's banana/walnut muffins, I'm guaranteed to experience an electrical jolt in my jaw. As of yesterday I started drinking Ginger Tea as it helps with the nausea. I thought I would be able to get some basic things accomplished this week, but it was impossible. I sleep, try and eat, sleep more, listen to music, sleep, and watch some tv, mainly music documentaries like The Beatles Anthology I & II, The Making of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, and Biography: Stevie Wonder. I'm leaving to the Omega Institute today for the Ecstatic Chant weekend. I'm just looking forward to spending time with my wife Parashakti, with Vishal and his family, and our Omega family, and falling asleep in the grass feeling the sun on my skin. I'm especially looking forward to going into the sauna and sweating the chemicals out of my body, and swimming in the Omega Lake. I need to feel reenergized, I need to regain my strength before next Friday's GlobeSonic on the Hudson party (it's our last outdoor party for the summer).

I want to thank all of you who have been taking the time to read and follow this story; for your prayers and well wishes, for those who have been e-mailing me inspiring songs (I'm downloading them all this morning) and for those who answered Parashakti's e-mail and have made a donation to the Organic Avenue fund from where we are getting a lot of our healthy supplies from. You can contact her directly via info@parashakti.org.