I should be ecstatic and bouncing off the walls today as I've crossed the finish line and completed my 12th and final round of chemo therapy. 7-months of hell is over. I'm happy, exhausted, and so deeply relieved that this chapter of my life will soon be past me. Over the next 12-months I will be having to visit the hospital for check-ups and to 'flush' the port implanted in my chest. The implant will remain with me for one more year 'just in case'. I feel I am cancer free. I have spoken to my blood, my cells, my DNA, my skeletal and molecular composition. In every vomiting occurrence I did my best to consciously focus and purge the cancer, purge old stories, burn away illusions, and burn out any old karmic baggage that no longer serves any purpose. It's been era - very, very real. As my poisoned blood has swirled through my body I feel as though it has etched into my bones my life story thus far like the carvings on some ancient walls. I'm very clear on where I'm standing, and I'm psyched to reengage and rewrite the next phase of my life.
Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes, it fueled the process.
Phoenix Rising
Today is a birthday of sorts. It marks the first time in 6-months that my 14-day cycle of death and rebirth is over. My affair with chemotherapy is really over. It is the first time in two weeks that my blood is feeling a deeper sense of chemical absence. It's the first time in two weeks that my mouth feels far from chemo mouth. It's the first time my body is not craving meat and wine combat all the chemicals. It's much easier, and enjoyable to drink green juices and eat salads. Each day I go to the gym, I feel my strength and energy returning to me. The chemicals are fading, I'm beating them out. I've been in Miami for a week. The weather has been far from ideal with the temperature dancing between the mid-50's and upper 60's, far from the skin penetrating heat I've been longing for. Hopefully my body will engage in that sensation when I reach LA on Sunday for my 1-month there. I shaved of all my hair since I arrived here. I've buried some of it, offered some to the ocean, burned a handful with some cloths I regularly wore during chemo, and gave some to the wind to play with. Little rituals help in activating intentions, and allow me to connect with my spirit guides, my orishas, my angels, whatever name we give to the unseen - I feel I'm being witnessed by the other side as I transition into The Next.
