Round VII - crossing the midway point

It's been almost a month since my last entry. It's been an easy way to communicate to many of my friends about this ordeal as the process has found me on a self imposed exile from everyone. From being in touch with a vast network of friends, colleges, partners and prospective collaborators; my accessibility is limited to a a handful of dear ones. My beak was dipped into countless pools reaping rewards as 'fixer' or 'manager' or 'adviser' to many. This current moment in my life is the first time in well over a decade that I'm focusing on myself and waking up in the mornings thinking about my own creative projects, and not the means by which to solve the issues surrounding the creations of others. It's a significantly different reality...

Since my last entry I've crossed the midway point of chemotherapy. I do this blog for myself, for my friends, and to leave information behind for others that might have to walk down a similar path. At this moment I'm connected to my chemo, it's the middle of round seven out of the prescribed twelve. I can finally sense the finish line, it's distance is closer than ever. It's been hell to get here. The game changer was removing the platinum from my 'cocktail'. No longer am I stabbed in the jaw when I eat, no longer am I experiencing the neuropathic electrocutions, no longer is the volume of suffering turned up to eleven.... it's now somewhere around four. Every person, every body, every blood, every spirit is different in how it handles disease and the treatments created to cure/heal/prevent the shituation. I believe the suffering I experienced by the platinum gave me the endurance I have to complete the process. What remains in my world of side effects:

1) Chemo Mouth: By morning my tongue will be covered in a disgusting yellow-grey coat that alters my sense of taste and infuses my saliva with the vile taste of medication. Regular tongue scraping and mouth washing helps eradicate some of the symptoms. Last week, or the first time since this journey began I had 6-days of no-hint of chemo mouth. This is obviously due the lack of platinum, standard mouth maintenance, and a steady regular intake of red wine. (Love and respect to my friend Rene Goiffon who sent me 8-bottles of wine and some great classical music). Red wine has been a HUGE help. It helps kill the chemo mouth, and helps my blood.

2) Vitality: Anyway we look at it, chemo is poison. The reality is that this chemical is killing my immune system on a regular basis in hopes that any cancerous cells that may be lingering in my body will be killed. One thing that this does is cause serious fatigue. On Wednesday, as soon as I'm disconnected from my chemo pack I go through a routine process of squeezing it all out of my body through regular sweats at the Russian Baths, yoga, my trampoline (to stimulate the lymph nodes), massage, acupuncture, and loads of green juice.... and writing songs.

If anything is reactivating my aliveness and tasting the nectar of life is the riding spirit of writing a song, it's through music that my vitality is reborn.